Lord of the Tiaras: Fellowship of the Tiara
by TheUnholyTerror
Summary: Story making fun of the movie! Read it. Does contain some humor that is a little racy though, and there are some inside jokes that only my friends would get.


Dear all,

Ever since I saw the Cinematic masterpiece: The Lord of the Rings, I have wanted to create a spoof of it, involving all of my dearest and closest friends, and Jack. Well, knowing that I haven't the patience to read the exceptionally long and exceptionally boring books, I've decided to base everything in my stories off of the movies, so screw you for anything that doesn't match what that crazy J.R.R. Tolkien wrote in his crazy books!

**DISCLAIMER: Get Bent. IF ANY OF YOU DARE RAISE A HAND AGAINST ME OR MY STORIES, BECAUSE YOU FIND SOMETHING YOU DON'T LIKE, NUMBER 1. YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE READING MY STORIES THEN AND SHOULD BLOCK ME. NUMBER 2. NOTHING IN MY STORIES ARE ACTUALLY TRUE AND ARE ALL FICTIONAL SITUATIONS AND 3. I HAVE RIGHTS AND I KNOW PEOPLE WHO KNOW PEOPLE THAT WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU NEVER SEE THAT UGLY DOG/BROTHER OF YOURS AGAIN! THANK YOU AND ENJOY THE STORY. I WILL USE RANDOM GIBBERISH TO SEPERATE THE BREAKS IN STORY. **

**-SINCERELY YOURS,**

**JOHN**

* * *

"The world has changed..." a woman's voice said.

"I can feel it in the wind, probably because I'm standing in the middle of a field, in a windy place..."

"I can feel it in the water, probably because I'm swimming in a community swimming pool..."

"I can feel it in my ass, probably because I've been sitting on the ground, as small tremors let my butt know that the world has changed..."

The woman pauses.

"Long ago, 2500 years ago (has it been that long?), there were the many creatures that inhabitited this place, this Middle-Earth. Magic was everywhere, and was intertwined with all living being and thought."

"In time, came the forging of the great and magic tiaras. 3 were given to the elves; wisest, fairest, and snootiest of all creatures. 7, to the dwarves; miners, short people, and keepers of the bowels of the Earth; meaning they were in charge of all the crap. and 9 to the race of men, who desired power and getting the booty (this can be intepreted two entirely different ways) over everything."

"But they were all decieved."

"In the land WhoreDoor, in the fires of Mt. Fishnet Stocking, Chloe, the evil lady of WhoreDoor, created a master tiara. A Tiara infused with the magic and power of fire; A tiara bound to her lifeforce, and it to her; a Tiara to rule all tiaras."

"Chloe even created a rhyme to be associated with the Tiara of Power, it went like this:"

_Three Tiaras for the Elven-Kings under the sky,_

_Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,_

_Nine for the Mortal Men doomed to die,_

_One for the Trampish Lady on her slutty throne_

_In the Land of Whoredoor where the Sluts are all bi._

_One Tiara to dominatrix them all, One Tiara to find them,_

_One Tiara to bring them all and in the darkness bind them_

_to the bedframe of the evil lady, in the land of Whoredoor where the Sluts are all bi._

"Yes, that Chloe was really perverted." the woman finished, and continued with 'er prologue.

"Chloe created an army of Whorcs, and declared war against all of Middle-Earth. Her armies of Whorcs ravaged the surrounding lands. However, some resisted."

"In a last alliance of Men and Elves, they marched against the armies of Chloe at the foot of Mt. Fishnet Stocking. The armies fought the final battle in order to save the free peoples of Middle-Earth. Soon, victory was at hand for the Men and Elves. However, the power of the Tiara could not be forgotted."

"Chloe, by herself, and armed with mace, decimated the army of men and the elves. The King of Boreumor, took his sword and attacked the Trampish lady. She in one press, blinded him to death with the evil mace. It was then, that Heisabore, took up his father's fallen sword and cut the tiara from Chloe's head."

"With a shriek, and a cry, Chloe vaporized, and victory was won. The tiara passed to Heisabore, and instead of eliminated evil forever, he kept the tiara. For the hearts of men are easily corrupted by the booty."

"The tiara lay dormant, as its creator was 'gone', and it was in the hair of another. However, the tiara of power is deceitful. It betrayed Heisabore, to his very death, and the tiara vanished from all memory."

"Soon, the tiara became legend, legend became myth, and soon the myths of the past were long forgotten. But soon, evil crept back into the world. Whispers spoke of Chloe. Whispers spoke of her. But of course, Whispers is a very unreliable person. The tiara was found."

"The tiara came into the hands of Kennium, and it led him into the Muttfunky Mountains, where it poisoned his mind. The Tiara brought Kennium, unnaturally long life, and for the 700 years it kept him alive, his every thought became bent upon it. The tiara abandoned Kennium. It wanted to be found by the hands of evil, to be found again by Chloe, it's master. But, something happened that the Tiara did not expect."

"It was picked up, by the most unlikely creature imaginable. Pete Majaskins, a hobbit, of the Hag4hire."

"For now is a time, that Hobbits, will shake the for-tunes of all..." she finished.

**The Fellowship of the Tiara**

Peggo Suzzins, a hobbit, basked in the sun. She lay in an open fieldd, surrounded by flowers and tall grasses. Bunnies frolicked about, as Peggo Suzzins immersed herself in her book. She was reading: The Erotic Adventures of Chloe, the French Ho with Double-Jointed Everything. Peggo heard something new in the distance. It was creaky, and uncommon in these parts. Peggo set her book down and ran across the field.

There it was. Moving down a tiny little twisted dirt road, a racked cart with a canopy over the contents of the chassis moved over a bridge. Peggo smiled as she saw who sat at the helm of the reins.

"You're late!" she said.

The man looked up. "A wizard is never late, because their wrist watches are set approxiamately ten minutes behind standard time!"

The two stared at each other, hiding back their smiles. Peggo leaped upon the man in the cart yelling, "Stevealf!"

Stevealf smiled and replied, "It's good to see you, Peggo Suzzins!"

"It's even better to see you! How's the outside world?"

"Well, the Middle-Earth economy is crumbling, Whorcs are mass-producing everywhere, and apparently, everyone is turning a blind eye to what's about to happen!"

"Wow. That's interesting." Peggo paused. "Did you bring me anything?"

"Why of course, I brought you lard cakes straight from my kitchen!" Stevealf pulled out a wad of disgusting looking round patties and gave them to Peggo.

"Oh. You... shouldn't have..." Peggo said and pushed them off her as soon as Stevealf turned away.  
  
"So, are you back here for Pete's birthday?" Peggo asked.

"Well, duh, shit for Hobbits!" Stevealf smacked Peggo upside the head, "Stupid failure!"

"That was mean!" Peggo said.

The two pulled into the rickety ole town of Hag4hire. Little hobbits ran around like little small freaks, and big hobbits ran around like even bigger freaks. Suddenly, they saw Jacly, the traveling bard.

"Why, we meet again, Jacly!" Stevealf said.

"Why, what a pleasure! Allow me to compose a ballad, to celebrate our reunion!" Jacly pulled out her lyre, when a thunder bolt struck the wench-- bard, down.

"Don't you dare!" Stevealf said, who had stood up, with his large wand-stick-thing raised.

"Sorry!" Jacly scoffed. She brushed the ashes off and jumped onto the cart. "So, how are things dear Stevealf?"

"Things are alright, however, something here seems... different..." Steven's eyes grew squinty as he eyed a suspicious looking character seated at the bar, but just turned out to be Ashley, the guv'nah saying bar-wench.

"Aye Steven guv'nah, 'ave you fahgotten 'bout the nite, we spent togetha, guv'nah?" she said.

"I have nightmares about it." Steven muttered and ushered the cart along, toward a set of hills, where Pete Majaskins lived.

As Steven pulled the mule cart up the hill to Pete Majaskins he pushed Peggo out of the cart. He tied the mules up and went up to the door of the small house built into the hill. Steven gave a few raps with his staff and heard a disgruntled voice emit from the house.

_"'Sir,' says I, 'or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore,_

_But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,_

_And so faintly you came tapping, tapping on my chamber door!'"_ he said.

"What the-" Steven began and rolled his eyes. "Pete! It's me!"

The tiny door opened, revealing a tiny person, a hobbit. "Stevealf! What a pleasure to be seeing you again after all these long years!"

Stevealf got down on one knee inorder to give good Pete Majaskins a hug. Pete led him into the house and gave him a cup of tea.

"Are you sure you want to pull this off?" Stevealf asked.

"Of course! I don't want to stay in this God-be-damned place any longer!" Pete said as he drank some of his tea, "I want to see the ocean, Stevealf! I want to see mountains! I want to see some of the infamous immortal hookers of Hooter'sdale, the city of the elves!"

"Well, everyone wants to spend a night with an immortal hooker, but I am happy for you Pete... will you leave... everything to dear Peggo?" Stevealf asked.

"Of course. But I do have something planned for the party... tonight..." Pete said with an evil giggle.

"So, Peggo, I hear that Tollin the hairy is going to ask you out to the Shire festival next week!" Mary Janewise, Peggo's gardener and her stalker according to her other friends Jillie Lostock and Janut Crazytalk.

"Really?" Peggo curled her blonde hair with a finger. She popped the gum in her mouth and rolled his eyes, "Uggh. I can't stand hairy hobbits. Every hobbit in the shire knows that I prefer a hobbit with a full set of teeth!"

"Hey! The festivities are starting!" Jillie said and joined them. They watched as Pete Majaskins got up on the stage that had been erected in the middle of Hobbitland.

"What a wonderful day to be with all of you grand hobbits-" a cheer. "I am so happy to be approxiately 666 years old!" another cheer. After a long and boring speech, in which Peggo had made out with Billo who played Hobbitball and was Hobbitback for the Hobbitland High School.

Soon, Pete quieted everyone down and asked for something from a hobbit holding something for him. It was some junk wrapped in brown canvas. It looked oddly strange, and Peggo's eyes were affixiated on it. He held it in his hands and gave his conclusion to his speech.

"I am happy to say, that I'm leaving this hell hole." A confused gasp from the crowd. "I plan to never see any of you again, and I'm better off for it!" Pete in a flash grabbed whatever was in the canvas, placed it atop his head and he was **gone**. He had disappeared and screams erupted from the crowds of hobbits.

"Where has he gone?" they asked.

Stevealf watched calmly. And in a flash, he was gone too.

Inside dear Pete's home, he frantically gathered his things together. He giggled maniaclly and took the tiara off. He slipped it into a satchel and he moved to open the door. He gasped when he saw Stevealf standing there.

"I'd guess you thought that was terribly funny." Stevealf was acting more serious than his goofy self.

"Oh shut up, you stupid fat man! I'll do what I like!" Pete said as he popped a pill.

"Pills? What's wrong with you, dear Pete? You were never like this before!" Stevealf walked into the small house. With a swing of his magical staff the door slammed shut behind him.

"It is nothing, dear Stevealf. All is well." Pete replied. He was ancy, dancing around on the spot. He gripped his satchel close to him as Stevealf stepped closer. Pete hissed and jumped back, now covering the satchel with his entire being. "Get away! Damn you Stevealf! It is mine!"

"What is yours? Your pills? I already have some, but-" Stevealf reached out with his hand to touch Pete's shoulder.

Pete snarled and jumped to the ground, shielding the satchel from Stevealf, "It is mine! My precious..."

Stevealf withdrew his hand. He stared coldly at the demented hobbit sobbing on the floor, still clutching the satchel to it.

"Precious... I have heard that before..." Stevealf suddenly remembered his pet dog, but then he remembered someone else. Something creepier... "Show me what it is, Pete."

"NEVER! YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND! You're trying to steal it from me so you can have it! Bastard!" Pete spit onto Stevealf's feet. "You're just a stupid wizar-"

"HOW DARE YOU, PETE MAJASKINS! I AM NOT GOING TO ROB YOU- yet, I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU, STUPID!" Stevealf bellowed in a magnificently magically enhanced voice.

"Fine. Take it." Pete said through the tears and tossed the satchel at Stevealf's feet. Pete got up, wiped some of his mascara away and ran out the door, "I'm mad at you Stevealf. I won't be talking to you for another 20 years."

Stevealf rolled his eyes and bent down to get the satchel. He lifted it up. The top came loose and the contents fell out. A few books, socks, a thong, and a tiara.

"Interesting..." Stevealf said and leaned down. His finger nearly touched the tiara when a vision entered his mind. It was a vision of a great mascara eye. A burning eye, covered in mascara.

Suddenly, Peggo ran in. She gasped when she saw Pete's things gone. "I should have known. The damn coot left with out cutting me some of that crack money."

Steven looked up confused at the lass. "Excuse me?"

"Oh- nothing." Peggo replied. She walked over to the tiara and picked it up. "Nice tiara, mind if I put it on?"

She motioned to put if on and Stevealf slapped her hands. She dropped the tiara.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"Don't put it on. I want to investigate something first." Stevealf said. He picked up tweezers and placed the tiara in a box. He sealed it shut with duct tape and gave it to Peggo. "Don't open it. Hide it. Keep it safe."

"Okay..." Peggo replied, thinking Stevealf was even more crazy now.

"I will return. Promise me you'll hide it." Stevealf said and smoothly left as quickly as Peggo had came.

"Okay..." Peggo said once again.

"Here the books you wanted, sirs." Ashley, the librarian matron said.

"Excellent." Stevealf started to look through them.

"Will you be wanting my services? Sharpen your pencil, sirs?" Ashley asked.

"No, thank you, I would just like to read." Stevealf spat, and Ashley left him alone.

"It was during the second age... when the Tiara of power was found... it came to the hands of Heisabore. When given the chance to destroy the tiara, he kept it. He was killed later on, and the tiara was lost. Now, the only way to see if it is the tiara of power is through the exertion of sluttiness..." Stevealf gasped.

"Mary, go home!" Peggo screamed at the hobbit sneaking up on her at her door.

"I am home!" Mary lied.

"Ugh, stupid." Peggo rolled her eyes and walked into Pete's house, which was now her own.

Peggo shut the door and felt hands grab her arms.

"Don't scream! It's me, Stevealf! Where is it? Is it safe?" Stevealf said with a wild look in his eye.

Peggo gasped and ran to a chest. She pushed all the pictures off of it and opened it up. She pulled out the box and Stevealf ripped it from her grasp. He ran over to the living room and pulled out a girl with a blindfold on.

"Jacly, remove your blindfold!" Stevealf said.

"Fine! I thought we were doing something kinky!" Jacly protested and removed her blindfold. The box shook and Jacly opened it. She picked up the tiara. She then handed it to Peggo.

"Is there anything on the tiara, Peggo. Writing- anything?" Stevealf was so tired.

"No." Peggo said.

"Thank Yahwe-"

"Wait!" Peggo said.

Stevealf gasped.

"There's writing on here. Some form of elvish!" Peggo gasped. "Do you know what it says?"

"Yes. I do. The language is that of Whoredoor. The language known as Whorish. I dare not utter those words here." Stevealf said.

"What the hell's going on? I thought we were going to have sex, Stevealf!" Jacly said.

"I'd rather be dead." Stevealf snapped.

"Well, fine then!" Jacly flipped her hair and began to strut out the door.

"No, Jacly. You musn't leave." Stevealf said. He pulled them both into the kitchen.

Peggo served the three tea and they all drunk.

"What does it say though?" Peggo asked, "When translated into English?"

"It says: See top of story." Stevealf replied.

"Oo- creepy." Jacly sarcastically said after Stevealf was done.

"There is nothing funny in this! Chloe is looking for the tiara." Stevealf snapped. "Oh, she's searching for it. All her mind is bent on finding it."

"But Chloe was killed!" Peggo said.

"Oh, don't be stupid. The Big Bad can't really die until the very end!" Jacly snapped and drunk her tea.

"Yes, Jacly is somewhat right. Chloe's ho energy is bound to the tiara, and the tiara to her. The only way to destroy the tiara is to cast it back into the fires in which it came from!" Stevealf said.

"Where's that?" Peggo asked.

"In the fires of Mt. Fishnet stocking." Stevealf said. "You must do it Peggo."

"Why do I have to do it? Why can't Jacly?" Peggo asked and looked to Jacly.

"Let's make this tea Irish!" Jacly giggled and poured some liquid into her tea.

"Never mind, but why can't you do it? Take the tiara! I can't have this! It's too dangerous!" Peggo grabbed the tiara and tried to give it to Stevealf.

"No, no, you little shit! Don't offer me this!" Stevealf said.

"Why, Stevealf?! WHY?" Peggo screamed.

"Because I may take the tiara in the desire to be beautiful, but through me, the tiara would access true power, and use it for evil!" Stevealf said.

"What a wussy excuse." Jacly hiccuped.

"Are you drunk?" Peggo asked.

"Oh, Peggie, Peggie, Peggie-" Jacly hiccuped, "I'm not drunk. I'm just boooreddddd.." Jacly fell asleep.

"But no one knows the tiara is here, right?" Peggo asked.

"No one. Except for..." Stevealf said.

"Who Stevealf? Who?" Peggo asked.

"I searched everywhere for the horrid and disgusting beast known as Kennium, but alack, the enemy came upon him first." Stevealf said.

"The tortured him with whores for days, maybe weeks until he finally confessed and said two words, ' Never paid Library fines' and 'HIM'"

"But, Stevealf, that's more than two word-" Peggo interrupted.

"Do shut up, Peggo, it's my damn story." Stevealf snapped.

"But, that doesn't necessarily tell them where the tiara is! How could they find it?" Peggo asked.

"Simple. Pete was a him, and known for his many library book fines. He had amassed such an amount of fines that he has become famous in Hooter'sdale, city of the elves. And being famous there makes him infamous in Whoredoor. So, they know of who he is. The nine have left the fortress of Whoredoor." Stevealf said.

"You must leave the Hag4Hire, Peggo! Take dear Jacly with you. Meet me at the Inn of the Drunken Pony, in the village of Cheese Bread. Go quickly, travel by day, never stay to the paths, do not tell anyone your name, the name 'Peggo Suzzins' is now dangerous to you." Stevealf said.

"I understand completely, Stevealf." Peggo said.

Sounds of bushes moving outside suddenly caught their attention.

"Stay down!" Stevealf said. In a quick motion he thrust his stick/staff thingy into the bush outside the open window.

"Ow!" came a voice. Stevealf reached out, clutching fabric and pulled someone into the house.

"Mary Janewise!" Peggo gasped.

"Yes, it's me!" Mary said.

"Have you heard everything?" Peggo asked.

"I bet she has. But, I have a good punishment for your trespassing..." Stevealf said.

"Why couldn't I just have sex with you or something, Stevealf? Why must I be forced to become a slave for Peggo?" asked Mary.

"Because I said so." Stevealf said. He was on his horse, talking to the two flobbits and bard. "Some pointers, Don't talk to strangers, stay off the roads, know when to say no, don't do drugs, and ah, yes, the dark lords spies are EVERYWHERE! HA HA HA HA HA!"

And Stevealf rode away.

"Why was he laughing?" Mary asked.

As the three travelers went on their path through glen and wood. Through marsh and quagmire. Through field and... uh... place with lots of growing things. Well, you get the idea. Anyhoo, as the travelers went on, things started to get a little tense between the party members.

"Well, I propose that I sing a ballad, to illustrate our journey!" Jacly proposed.

"Dear God, no!" Mary pleaded. Jacly ignored her and began to sing.

"Well, _there once was a lass, who was really crass, and had hair of pure golden blo-nde, she had no brain, and was slightly insane, and her name was Peggo Suzzins!_" Jacly moaned.

"Peggo, put me out of my misery." Mary pleaded.

"No, let's continue on, dear Mary." Peggo said as the three valiant travelers set off through the fields of corn, wheat, barely, more wheat, and Hobbitweed. Suddenly, Mary stopped walking. She turned around and grabbed Peggo's hands. Mary looked into Peggo's bright blue eyes.

"What is it, Mary?" Peggo asked.

"Peggo, this is the fartherst I've ever been from the Shire! One more step, and I'm even farther!" Mary said. Peggo 'awed' and Jacly came crashing through the corn.

"And after that step, you'll be farther away, and after that step you'll be farther away. Pagan Goddess, you girls are stupid." Jacly hiccuped.

"Are you high on the Hobbitweed?" Peggo asked, "Because it's only for medicinal use!"

"Oh, shut up. I don't do- Hiccup- drugs. I only drink. Occasionally." Jacly took a swig of Hobbitbeer from a flask at her side.

"What's the occasion?" Mary asked snidely.

"Don't you take the tone with me, hobbit, or I'll... uh..." and Jacly collapsed onto the ground.

"Oh, we had better help her up..." Peggo said, when suddenly through the corn patch two blurs struck Peggo down. Peggo fell, and looked on top of her realizing that it was Janut Crazytalk, and Jillie Lostock.

"Get off her!" Mary screamed and pushed the two girls off.

"What is all this?" Peggo asked, looking at all the clothing on the ground.

"You've been stealing from Nordstrom again!" Mary said in shock.

"Oh, so what. These clothes are out of season anyway!" Janut snapped back.

From the distance they heard the mad ranting and raving of an angry shop keeper.

"Damn! We're being followed!" Janut said.

"This way!" Jillie pulled Peggo and Mary behind her and the four took off through the fields of Hobbitweed, unknowingstly approaching a massive river, that would propel them down a waterfall into a bed or horrible rocks, only to be sucked into a whirlpool. Of course, the stupidos took a wrong turn and merely fell down a hill.

"Wait! What about Jacly?" Mary asked. Even though Mary was a complete bitch, she still didn't like people dying.

"Jacly can handle herself." Peggo said.

_Cut to Jacly_

"And you're saying, they went which way?" asked the hobbit police officer. Jacly had handcuffs on as the mad shop keeper was ranting and raving.

"I'm saying that they- Oh! There they are!" Jacly called and nodded over the police officers head. Both the officer and the mad shop keeper turned around. "Ha! Suckers!" Jaclyn swung her leg, catching the cop in the groin. She bent down and picked up her knife from the ground, slashed through the chain on the hand cuffs, and stabbed the shop owner.

_Okay, back to our heroes._

"I'm back!" Jacly wiped some blood off her wrist and jumped down to join the hobbits. She looked at the two new ones and asked, "Who the hell are they?"

"Oh, we're Jillie Lostock!" Jillie said.

"And Janut Crazytalk!" Janut added.

"Uh-huh, that's nice." Jacly ignored them and turned to Peggo, "When are we going to hit this Cheese Bread place? I need a drink."

"Oh, we're going to..." Peggo replied, but something past Jacly caught her attention. Peggo looked over and saw the trees moving aside from the road, opening up for something that was coming through. Peggo's eyes widened and realized that some sort of power was emenating from the tiara. "Get off the road!"

"I understand you may not like my drunkard habits, but don't order me around, Peggo. I can take you, you know." Jacly snapped hastily.

Peggo grabbed Jacly's hand and flung her off the side of the road. Peggo jumped off too and the other hobbits followed. They all crawled under a log and waited. They heard the stomping of horse hooves approaching. They all remained quiet as they heard the horse stop above them on the road. They heard something large get off.

It was dressed in black. It was one of the Freshmen wraithes. Dressed in black, they road throughout all the lands, seeking the Tiara. Now, they had been summoned here, to find it. The Freshmen wraith looked around, sensing the ring. Like a dementor, it sucked in with a rattling breath. Peggo felt her strength leave her as the sucking continued. And suddenly this writer just realized what he had just written. Gross.

Anyhoo, Janut tossed a stick, and the Freshmen Wraith, like the moron that it is, got on its horse and chased the stick three feet from where it was thrown.

The hobbits and Jacly got up and quickly ran into the forest whilst the Wraith killed the stick.

"The fires of Mt. Fishnet Stocking are lit, and Stevealf the Weak comes to my side, seeking my aid." said a voice that echoed over the trees. Through the dirt path, Stevealf atop his horse, Buttercup Lucky #19, raced down the track, following a carrot.

Stevealf stopped the horse and got off, approaching the great wizard in white, who walked calmly down the front steps to the tower of JCCard.

"Shalom, Stevealf." the white wizard said.

"Shalom, Joelamon the Jewish." Stevealf replied.

The two walked, talking up to the main chamber, whereist, Stevealf told Joelamon everything.

"So, the Tiara of power was in the shire all along. Your love of the halfling women has clouded your senses, Stevealf." Joelamon said.

"I understand that I failed in that duty. But, Joelamon, if we act now, we can destroy the tiara now!" Stevalf said angrily that Joelamon seemed to not care.

"We cannot do anything, Stevealf. The nine have left the gates of Whoredoor." Joelamon said.

"We can still do something!" Stevealf said in shock.

"They will find who carries the tiara. And they will kill him-"

"Peggo!" Stevealf gasped and ran for the door. The door slammed shut and he moved to another, and then another, but they all slammed in his face. "Joelamon, what is the meaning of this?"

"Do you really think that a hobbit can stand against the will of the dark lady?" Joelamon asked. He seemed so desperate, but there was that definite sense of power behind him. "We must join him Stevalf... It is the only way."

"Since when did Joelamon the Jewish, trade Jewishness for wretched heethinism?" Stevealf spat. Both 'wands' were raised, and the two began to fight. Stevealf was slammed against the floor, and responded by kicking Joelamon's feet from under him.

As the two fought, eventually Stevealf grew weary. Somehow, both 'wands' got into Joelamon's hands and with their combined power, began to slam poor Stevealf against all the furniture.

"I gave you the chance to help me!" Joelamon said as he slammed Stevealf into the kitchenette counter.

"But you have instead, chosen the way of pain!" Stevealf was slammed into the leather couch. And with that Joelamon pointed both 'wands' up to the ceiling, and Stevealf soared out of sight.

TO BE CONTINUED...

P.S. Tell me what y'all think!


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